Cops and Robbers

Character Bios Ad

2008-09-01T13:47:00.006-04:00

So, to get here you must've done some sneakin' around; the front page image doesn't link to the main page. But for your efforts, we're rewarding you with an ad we made for Youtube.com. Do you love it?

Character Bios Ad

It's about 20 mb.

And don't YOU forget to check out our new character bios page, ya turkey!

Character Bios

2008-09-01T11:00:00.007-04:00

Here you can find information, pictures, and descriptions of Cops and Robbers character. Note that all the pictures of characters are taken in Halo 3, although many characters have yet to appear in Halo 3 and some may never appear in Halo 3.

ROBBERS

Stephen
Trey
General Claxton
Science Boy
Randy
Johnny
Blake
Robber1/Robber2

COPS

Chief of Police
Phil
Joshyboy
Cop1/Cop2

Other

Carol

Bios: Blake

2008-08-31T18:18:00.008-04:00

Voiced by: Zach Spitzer

Hometown: Coagulation, Robber Base

Member of: The Robber Rebellion
Primary Color: Red
Secondary Color: Red
Primary Weapon: SMG
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI
Icon:

Blake is a damn cool robber. Not only that, but he is really kickass. A rising star of the Robber Rebellion, Blake is sure to help General Claxton soon lead the robbers to victory against the cops.

IMPORTANT ROBBERS UNITE EVENTS

Blake was killed while saving Stephen from an event caused by Stephen’s stupidity.

Videos:

Robbers Unite Episodes:

Robbers Unite Introduction
Robbers Unite Episode 1: This is Where the Rocket Won't Hit
Robbers Unite Episode 2: Keep Your Suit On

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Robber1/Robber2

2008-08-31T18:13:00.008-04:00

Voiced by: Alex Colborn/Zach Spitzer

Hometown: Terminal

Members of: The Robber Rebellion
Primary Colors: Red
Secondary Colors: Red
Primary Weapons: SMG
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI
Icon: /

These unnamed robbers grew up deep in the city of Terminal, and inherently have an intimate understanding of street life. Through force and intimidation, they grew to rule Terminal, but they only used their power to cut the occasional underling and take his wallet.

IMPORTANT BACKLASH EVENTS

The duo have given up their positions as rulers of Terminal and, like the rest of the inhabitant, moved along with General Claxton to Coagulation in order to join the Robber Rebellion.

Videos:

Backlash Episodes:

Backlash Episode 18: I'm Afraid It's Terminal

Backlash Episode 19: A Few Screwed Men

Backlash Episode 20: A Battle Against the Guardian

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Cop1/Cop2

2008-08-31T17:44:00.006-04:00

Voiced by: Chris Murphy/Ryan Alden

Hometown: Coagulation, Cop Base

Member of: The Cop Empire
Primary Color: Blue
Secondary Color: Blue
Primary Weapon: Battle Rifle
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI
Icon: /

These unnamed cops are two grunts deep, deep down in the bowels of the cop ranking system. The two have spent their time together patrolling the rocks of the Coagulation branch for as long as either can remember. The second cop seems to think that this makes them inseparable friends. The first cop just wants to get the Hell away from him and out of the rocks.

Videos:

Robbers Unite Episodes:

Robbers Unite Introduction
Robbers Unite Episode 1: This is Where the Rocket Won't Hit

Robbers Unite Episode 3: Golf Balls and Girly Book Clubs

Robbers Unite Episode 13: New Arrival

Backlash Episodes:

Backlash Episode 15

Backlash Episode 17: On the Road Again

Backlash Episode 18: I'm Afraid It's Terminal

Cops and Robbers Shorts:

CARS: Stuck in Place

CARS: Crossing the Picket Line

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Joshyboy

2008-08-31T17:36:00.010-04:00

Voiced by: Stephen Gemmiti

Hometown: Waterworks, Cop Branch

Member of: The Cop Empire
Primary Color: Blue
Secondary Color: White
Primary Weapon: Needler
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI
Icon:

Joshyboy is quite the clown! He’s always getting into hilarious hijinks! Loud and obnoxious but quite entertaining to his fellow cops, Joshyboy seems to be leading the cops of the newly-founded Waterworks Branch straight into chaotic hell, through a series of lies, poor decisions, and clever misdirection of the cops' sex drives. It is unknown if Joshyboy has a secret vendetta against the cops or simply enjoys the attention.

Videos:

Backlash Episodes:

Backlash Episode 16: Cop: It's What's For Dinner

Backlash Episode 18: I'm Afraid It's Terminal
Backlash Episode 20: A Battle Against the Guardian

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Phil

2008-08-31T17:33:00.008-04:00

Voiced by: Ichabod Scala

Hometown: Waterworks, Robber Base

Member of: The Cop Empire
Primary Color: Blue
Secondary Color: Blue
Primary Weapon: Battle Rifle
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI
Icon: None

Phil is one of the few competent cops, possibly the only competent cop. Loyal to a fault, Phil believes in the vision of the noble cop, the cop who does what’s best for all, the cop that uses his power to promote order and mutual respect with the robbers, AKA the nonexistent cop. In an ironic act of fate, Phil was posted in the newly-founded Waterworks branch of the Cop Empire, easily the least-important branch. Nevertheless, Phil still hopes to soon morph the idiotic cops at Waterworks branch into model soldiers. It is unknown how long it will take. (For him to lose hope.)

Videos:

Backlash Episodes:

Backlash Episode 16: Cop: It's What's For Dinner

Backlash Episode 18: I'm Afraid It's Terminal

Backlash Episode 20: A Battle Against the Guardian

Variety Videos:

Backlash Action Trailer

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Johnny

2008-08-31T17:24:00.009-04:00

Voiced by: Chris Murphy

Hometown: Coagulation, Robber Base

Member of: The Robber Rebellion

Primary Color: Red

Secondary Color: Crimson

Primary Weapon: SMG

Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI

Icon:

Johnny is a young robber. Nobody really knows his specific age, but it’s generally assumed to be around the elementary-school age range. It doesn’t really matter; whenever one guesses his age he’ll simply say he’s that age “and a half!”. Johnny is a slow robber, even for a ten (perhaps) and a half-year-old. Nevertheless, his childish innocence and naivety shines through, despite the fact that he is the size of a full-grown man and is constantly carrying a sub-machine gun.

Videos:

Robbers Unite Episodes:

Robbers Unite Episode 7: Speaking Slowly, Thinking Slowly

Robbers Unite Episode 8: Looks Familiar
Robbers Unite Episode 9: Coughs, Shouts and Beeps

Backlash Episodes:

Backlash Episode 17: On the Road Again

Cops and Robbers Shorts:

CARS: The iPhone is miPhone
CARS: Biting the Hand That Smacked You
CARS: Stuck in Place
CARS: Crossing the Picket Line
CARS: Grinding the Chain That Sawed You

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Carol

2008-08-31T13:45:00.007-04:00

Voiced by: Julie Slotnick

Hometown: Relic, Cop HQ

Member of: Unknown
Primary Color: None
Secondary Color: None
Primary Weapon: None
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): None
Icon: None

Carol, or ‘Carl’ for short (just kidding not really), is an AI program built by the cops that operates all of the teleporters in the Cops and Robbers world. Due to years upon decades upon centuries upon it-just-keeps-going-this-ways, Carol’s personality chip encounters rare malfunctions, and every so often she will slip out of her helpful and cheery “Waitress” personality setting and into her rude and short-tempered “Customer Service Lady” setting. Fortunately for the Robber Rebellion, Carol's programming directs her to help any and all 'humans' instead of any and all 'cops', so she is free to help out members of the Robber Rebellion whenever they happen upon her.

Videos:

Robbers Unite Episodes:

Robbers Unite Introduction

Robbers Unite Episode 9: Coughs, Shouts and Beeps

Variety Videos:

Backlash Action Trailer

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Randy

2008-08-31T01:37:00.007-04:00

Voiced by: John Dohring

Hometown: Coagulation, Robber Base

Member of: The Robber Rebellion

Primary Color: Red

Secondary Color: Steel

Primary Weapon: SMG

Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI

Icon: - Halo 2 - Halo 3

Randy is just a disgusting pervert.

IMPORTANT ROBBERS UNITE EVENTS

Randy stayed perverted.

IMPORTANT BACKLASH EVENTS

Randy found God and is now a born-again Christian. No just kidding he’s still totally just a gross ol’ perv.

Videos:

Robbers Unite:

Robbers Unite Episode 1: This is Where the Rocket Won't Hit

Robbers Unite Episode 3: Golf Balls and Girly Book Clubs

Robbers Unite Episode 5: The Good Old Days

Robbers Unite Episode 11: That Tall Thing

Cops and Robbers Shorts:

CARS: Biting the Hand That Smacked You

CARS: Grinding the Chain That Sawed You

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Chief of Police

2008-08-31T01:30:00.009-04:00

Voiced by: Shane Porter

Hometown: Turf

Member of: The Cop Empire
Primary Color: Blue
Secondary Color: Blue
Primary Weapon: Battle Rifle
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Scout

Icon:

The Chief of Police is the cowardly and selfish leader of the cops. Chiefy was promoted to the position decades ago, after the former Chief of Police (or CoP for short) retired (because his wife was cheating on him with a robber and he couldn’t take the pressure of the job anymore). Now in charge of the greatest force ever known to man, the Chief of Police instantly began to misuse his power. He split the robbers up into separate branches and didn’t allow any contact between branches. Then he split all the males and females up, so that the robbers wouldn’t be able to reproduce and he didn’t have any competition from male cops.

Videos:

Robbers Unite:

Robbers Unite Introduction

Robbers Unite Episode 2: Keep Your Suit On

Robbers Unite Episode 3: Golf Balls and Girly Book Clubs

Robbers Unite Episode 11: That Tall Thing

Robbers Unite Episode 13: New Arrival
Robbers Unite Episode 14: This Is Where the Rocket Won't Hit

Backlash:

Backlash Episode 15
Backlash Episode 16: Cop: It's What's For Dinner

Cops and Robbers Shorts:

CARS: The iPhone is miPhone

CARS: Crossing the Picket Line

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: Science Boy

2008-08-31T01:24:00.008-04:00

Voiced by: Wyatt Boska

Hometown: Coagulation, Robber Branch

Member of: The Robber Rebellion
Primary Color: Red
Secondary Color: Red
Primary Weapon: None
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Security
Icon:

Science Boy is the residential authority on all things science for the Robber Rebellion. His actual credentials are unknown, but General Claxton relies on him for science-type advice all the time. Science Boy is has a robotic-sounding voice filter that stems from his being beaten by a group of cops earlier in life. Nearly dead, he needed an emergency operation, specifically; he needed a Defribillator ™ to be installed in his lungs. The operation was a success and Science Boy survived. Although his name isn’t Science Boy (it was a nickname General Claxton bestowed upon him), nobody cares enough to figure out what it really it really is.

Videos:

Robbers Unite:

Robbers Unite Introduction
Robbers Unite Episode 4: Large Islands Made of Sand
Robbers Unite Episode 5: The Good Old Days
Robbers Unite Episode 9: Coughs, Shouts and Beeps
Robbers Unite Episode 13: New Arrival
Robbers Unite Episode 14: This Is Where the Rocket Won't Hit

Backlash:

Backlash Episode 15
Backlash Episode 17: On the Road Again

Cops and Robbers Shorts:

CARS: The iPhone is miPhone

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bios: General Claxton

2008-08-31T01:15:00.010-04:00

Voiced by: Ryan Alden

Hometown: Turf

Member of: The Robber Rebellion
Primary Color: Red
Secondary Color: Red
Primary Weapon: Shotgun
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Security
Icon: - Halo 2 - Halo 3

General Claxton is the self-appointed leader of the Robber Rebellion. Although he didn’t begin the Rebellion, he has taken up leadership thanks to his unmatched enthusiasm and unbridled rage against the cop kind. Selfish, ignorant and delusional, Claxton will often tell long-winded stories about himself that have little-to-no basis of truth, usually involving romantic escapades with aging television celebrities (of the female variety, of course). However, Claxton is skilled with a shotgun, and will often jump into a large-to-huge group of cops and return unscathed, dragging along a cop helmet for his mantle (head still encased within, of course).

Videos

Robbers Unite:

Backlash:

Backlash Episode 15
Backlash Episode 17: On the Road Again
Backlash Episode 18: I'm Afraid It's Terminal
Backlash Episode 19: A Few Screwed Men
Backlash Episode 20: A Battle Against the Guardian

Cops and Robbers Shorts:

CARS: The iPhone is miPhone
CARS: Stuck in Place
CARS: Crossing the Picket Line

Click here to return to the bios index.

Bio: Trey

2008-08-31T00:45:00.010-04:00

Voiced by: Charlie Heim

Hometown: Coagulation, Robber Base

Member of: The Robber Rebellion
Primary Color: Red
Secondary Color: Teal
Primary Weapon: Sniper Rifle
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI
Icon: None

Trey, formerly the outgoing and cheerful hero of the Robber Rebellion, is currently the angry and bitter sniper of the Robber Rebellion. When he was younger, Trey was a rising star: He was proficient in all types of weaponry, he was strong as an ox on steroids, and he was quite the charmer. Unfortunately, during a training operation in the underground Robber Rebellion Boot Camp, a robber accidentally shot him with a rocket, crippling him for life. Trey was left barely able to walk and only good for sniping cops from afar. Although the rocket blast has blackened much of Trey’s injury from his memory, he is aware of his impressive former self and the memory has turned him into a resentful and sarcastic asshole.

IMPORTANT ROBBERS UNITE EVENTS

After being wounded in the snow base with General Claxton, Stephen, and the rest of the Robber Rebellion, Trey was given a so-called ‘healing device’ by General Claxton. The device magically worked, and Trey has healed beyond his crippled state. Although he isn’t as powerful as he was during his golden years, Trey is now about as strong as an average robber, and can hold his own in a fight.

IMPORTANT BACKLASH EVENTS

While attempting to follow the Chief of Police, Trey (accompanied by Stephen) was trapped in a cave for an extended length of time. Without any food and already having been hungry, Trey was forced to resort to cannibalism by eating cops that would enter and leave the cave. Trey now has no qualms with eating other human beings, even without ketchup.

Videos

Robbers Unite:

Robbers Unite Episode 3: Golf Balls and Girly Book Clubs
Robbers Unite Episode 6: Reading Is For Nerds
Robbers Unite Episode 7: Speaking Slowly, Thinking Slowly
Robbers Unite Episode 8: Looks Familiar
Robbers Unite Episode 9: Coughs, Shouts and Beeps
Robbers Unite Episode 10: Driven Over the Edge
Robbers Unite Episode 11: That Tall Thing
Robbers Unite Episode 12: The New Neighbors
Robbers Unite Episode 13: New Arrival
Robbers Unite Episode 14: This Is Where the Rocket Won't Hit

Backlash:

Backlash Episode 15
Backlash Episode 16: Cop: It's What's For Dinner
Backlash Episode 17: On the Road Again
Backlash Episode 19: A Few Screwed Men

Cops and Robbers Shorts:

CARS: Stuck in Place
CARS: Crossing the Picket Line
CARS: Grinding the Chain That Sawed You

Click here to return to the bios index.

Video Archive

2008-08-29T01:19:00.006-04:00

Bios: Stephen

2008-08-29T01:01:00.018-04:00

Voiced by: Stephen Gemmiti

Hometown: Coagulation, Robber Base

Primary Color: Red
Secondary Color: Blue
Primary Weapon: Pistol (Robbers Unite), Battle Rifle (Backlash)
Icon: None
Shoulders (Halo 3 Only): Mark VI

Stephen is the only known son of both a cop and a robber. The cops rejected him and the robbers resented him, so he grew introverted and lonely as a child. Although he was forced to live with the robbers, he spent as much time away from their teasing and taunting as possible by hanging around alone in the rocks of the Coagulation branch.

IMPORTANT ROBBERS UNITE EVENTS

Stephen, while hanging out alone in the rocks, was nearly killed by Cop1 and Cop2, or at least nearly de-toed. He narrowly avoided having to live the rest of his life in a toeless state of imbalance when another robber named Blake rescued him. Stephen became obsessed with Blake, and his changing attitude toward the cops showed it. Over time, Stephen grew more and more involved with the Robber Rebellion, until eventually he killed his first cop in order to save General Claxton. General Claxton then realized Stephen’s potential and bestowed him with a battle rifle, making Stephen the only robber to use the weapon (which is traditionally only used by cops). Claxton then ordered Stephen, along with Trey, to hunt down the Chief of Police and assassinate him.

Videos

Robbers Unite:

Backlash:

Backlash Episode 15
Backlash Episode 16: Cop: It's What's For Dinner
Backlash Episode 17: On the Road Again
Backlash Episode 18: I'm Afraid It's Terminal
Backlash Episode 19: A Few Screwed Men
Backlash Episode 20: A Battle Against the Guardian

Cops and Robbers Shorts:

CARS: The iPhone is miPhone
CARS: Biting the Hand That Smacked You
CARS: Stuck in Place
CARS: Crossing the Picket Line
CARS: Grinding the Chain That Sawed You

Click here to return to the bios index.

Backlash Episode 20

2008-08-21T18:35:00.007-04:00

So, here we are! If you've already watched this week's episode on Youtube.com/robbersunite (and why shouldn't you have?), you'll be happy to know that there's over 30 seconds of robbersunite.com exclusive footage! It's official: HOLY CRAP! Check it out in the download link below!

Backlash Episode 20: EXTENDED EDITION

It's about 125 mb. Description:
A Battle Against the Guardian. General Claxton, Robber 1 and 2 battle the Guardian of the Terminal Monster. Stephen infiltrates the Cops' Waterworks base. Later, Claxton, Robber1 and Robber2 debate how to get back home. Claxton is forced to drastic measures.

Hope you enjoy your EXPLOSIVE EXCLUSIVES!

Backlash Episode 20 - Up at Youtube

2008-08-13T07:56:00.002-04:00

Okay gang, here's the deal: I'm away on vacation for one week, so I'm not going to be able to upload the next episode to the website today. However, I did put it up at Youtube.com/robbersunite last night, so it's there for you. Your version will be up in approximately one week, and just for being such a patient young man/woman it'll be extended, just for you.

For now though, here it is on Youtube:

Backlash Episode 20: A Fight Against the Guardian

See you in a week!

Backlash Episode 19

2008-07-29T07:21:00.005-04:00

Oh man, is it finally done.

Backlash Episode 18: A Few Screwed Men

Download
It's about 88 mb.
Description:

General Claxton and Robber1 and Robber2 confront the Terminal Monster in a Warthog, and then continue on to face off with the Guardian. Meanwhile, Stephen and Trey arrive in what Stephen believes to be a completely unoccupied cave.

EDIT: Huh. Is this video glitchy for you guys? If this video isn't working for you guys here, check it at Youtube here.

What Did I Say

2008-07-19T02:28:00.003-04:00

Well, we've already hit that point. We need to record more to continue releasing episodes. And... right now we can't.

I've still got a tiny thing for you- All our previously broken videos should be working again. That means that you can now download CARS: Grinding the Chain That Sawed You, CARS: Stuck in Place, and the Rocket Chase How-To are now all downloadable for you downloading pleasure.

Anyway, there's a lot of stuff we've already filmed for little things, like the original Robbers Unite DVD. So until we can put out episodes again we'll be putting up extras from there.

Thanks for the patience, unless, you're whining behind our backs. Quit whining, child. It'll be alright.

Backlash Episode 18

2008-07-08T18:56:00.006-04:00

Yaaay! We beat the Internet into submission!

Cops and Robbers: Backlash Episode 18 "I'm Afraid It's Terminal"

Download
It's about 113 mb.
Description:
The Robber Rebellion arrives in Terminal. Robber1 and Robber2, in their introductory episode, warn General Claxton of a new threat. Meanwhile, Cop1 and Cop2 warn Phil of an old one. Joshyboy interferes.

Okey-dokey. If you didn't see my below post, you might want to check it out. Thanks for watching!

We're in for a bumpy ride

2008-07-04T18:27:00.006-04:00

Well folks, things are looking down at Not Happy HQ (2253 Story Avenue, Niskamania NY, The Moon). We've got, basically, two issues:

1) We can't really upload stuff. This is only temporary though, and you should be seeing episode 18 in a few days. But worse is number 2, which you'll find a little bit beneath number one, on this very page.

2) We have lost filming ability for the near future. This isn't as big a deal as it sounds though, as with Cops and Robbers we film most of the movie ahead of time. So much of Backlash is already finished. However, every now and then there'll be some important little scene we never filmed, and this could affect our ability to finish episodes in the future. We may have to switch the story around, we may have to accept a slight drop in episode quality in the future, or we may just have to start delaying episodes. We'll see.

Anyway, I hate having these iffy release dates, so if you want to be able to know when we upload stuff without having to keep checking back, I suggest that you subscribe to our Youtube channel (Youtube.com/robbersunite). This will keep you informed when we upload anything new.

Sorry guys.

Backlash Episode 17

2008-06-29T08:02:00.002-04:00

Well, close enough.

Download Cops and Robbers: Backlash Episode 17
About 126 mb.
Description:

On the Road Again. General Claxton ignores Science Boy's advice to find that 'Ultimate Weapon' thingamabob, and instead decides to take the men on a trip to find new... men. Recruits, we mean. But first he meets up with Cop1 and Cop2, two cops in a smelly situation. They then run away and meet Stephen and Trey.

I'd suggest checking back in a couple of days, we may have something to discuss then.

New Episode Tomorrow

2008-06-27T16:58:00.002-04:00

Yup. Episode 17 tomorrow. Just so all y'all don't get yer knickers in a bocker.

See you then!

Backlash Episode 16

2008-06-20T15:33:00.004-04:00

What's up? Lemme' tell ya': Backlash Episode 16 finally is.

Do you want to look at it? You can watch it. Here, try this link below.

Download
It's about 90 mb.

Description:

Cop: It's What's For Dinner. After being stuck in that cave for so long, Stephen gets nitpicky and Trey gets hungry. The Chief of Police and his Assistant arrive in Waterworks. In his introductory episode, Phil tries to get the cops to work together. In his introductory episode, Joshyboy screws it up.

We're On It

2008-06-15T22:32:00.003-04:00

Don't worry all, episode 16 is still coming along nicely. This was a surprisingly busy weekend and episode, so don't worry, there shouldn't be many delays like this in the future. So check back in a day or two for the next episode.

While I've got your attention though, help us out. Or, give us your opinion. Would you prefer longer episodes, which would ultimately result in fewer episodes, or quicker episodes with many of them for months to come? This won't be the deciding factor in anything whatsoever, but it'd be nice to know. I'm going to make a poll, but I don't really know how you want to do this. Make a comment, send an e-mail, whatever you want.

Thanks for the stuff!

EDIT: The poll's up and on the right.

Backlash: Episode 15

2008-06-06T10:55:00.008-04:00

I'm both proud and happy and amazed and humbled and crazy to announce the first episode of Backlash is now available to the you.

Here's a download.
About 150 mb.

Description:
The Chief of Police escapes from the battle at Containment. Stephen and Trey follow, but are too busy getting lost to assassinate him. Meanwhile, General Claxton gets his killing spree. Science Boy hears some important secrets from The Cop Who's Voiced So Badly He Needs Subtitles, and Cop1 and Cop2 get desperate.

EDIT: It's on Youtube!

Check back throughout the summer for new episodes. Thanks for watching!

Backlash Action Trailer

2008-05-31T18:01:00.005-04:00

Well folks, here we are. It's been a long time coming, but we've finally set a date. June 6th is the release date of the first episode in the second Cops and Robbers film: Backlash.

I'll get to the ado later. For now, he's the action trailer:

Download
It's about 50 mb, and two and a half minutes.

Breakdown Update

2008-04-23T16:32:00.006-04:00

'Sup my hooded hoodlums,

Well, it's Wednesday, and I've got good news and bad news. The good news is there's no bad news! The bad news is that I've only gotten some of the broken videos working again. I should probably be able to fix it all later, but we're only part of the way there now. But here's what's working again:

CaR 2 Teaser Trailer
CARS: Crossing the Picket Line
Retaliation Comedy Trailer
Robbers Unite Deleted Scenes LQ

What still be broke:

CARS: Grinding the Chain That Sawed You
CARS: Stuck in Place
Rocket Chase How-To

I'll see what I can do about the rest. But again, check Youtube if you want to see some stuff! Youtube.com/robbersunite, baby! Anyway, if I've made any sort of mistake, post a comment, e-mail me, whatever. I just hope we can still be friends.

Also of note: You may have noticed some Call of Duty 4 dudebags stealin' our title! Well, don't you worry, we're SUING those sons of britches for every penny they're worth! In the meantime, we're thinking up new titles for Cops and Robbers 2 (no longer Retaliation) as you speak. And yes, Cops and Robbers 2 is still going to happen. Give us time, man!

Technical Casualties

2008-04-13T23:46:00.003-04:00

Sup my whistle-blowers,

I've gotten some e-mails recently concerning our website, and yes, it appears that many of the videos are F'd in the A. I don't know why, and I'm currently out of the home, so it's going to be hard to get a solution for now. I'll be back at HQ Wednesday, so expect a real progress report and potential solution by then. I'd like to remind any viewers that all of our videos are available on Youtube, which isn't broken as easily as robbersunite.com.

Anyway, thanks for the concern. Stay strong. We'll get through this.

Love and hugs,

Chris

Check out the Robbers Unite Highlights

2008-04-02T16:41:00.004-04:00

'Sup my sunuvaguns,

If you head on down to our Youtube right now (youtube.com/robbersunite, tardo) you'll see we've got a new playlist up and running: Robbers Unite Highlights. If you're in the Wanting to Catch Up On Robbers Unite Club, or the Wanting to View Robbers Unite But Not Wanting to Spend Two Hours On It, check out the highlights here. It's got both our funniest and our most plot-critical episodes. YUL LUV IT!

Au revoir,

Chris'm

Vote Hooker!

2008-03-17T20:08:00.003-04:00

'Sup my pollsters,

You know we love you. And we know you love us... right? Anyway, if you loved us nearly as much as we loved you, you would vote for us in the Machinima.com Ivy Film Festival Machinima Competition. Because we love you so much!

If you're unconvinced, here's a video with Cop1 telling you about it. WE LOVE YOU!!!!

If you want direct links to each video, here they are:

Retaliation Trailer - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...
Grinding the Chain - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...
Crossing the Picket - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...
Stuck in Place - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...
Crossing the Picket - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...
iPhone is miPhone - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...
Robbers Unite Ep 14 - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...
Robbers Unite Ep 10 - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...
Robbers Unite Ep 5 - http://www.machinima.com/ivyfilmfesti...

Let us escape into the night tomorrow and share our love... But only if you vote us. VOTE US! <3.>

Retaliation... C'est quoi?

2008-03-06T13:38:00.003-05:00

'Sup my ignoramuses,

I don't know if the French in the title is right. I don't care. Stupid French.

Anyway, I've gotten a couple of e-mails asking if we're still doing Robbers Unite episodes. So just to clarify, Retaliation IS Robbers Unite. When we pick up with new 'Robbers Unite' episodes, they'll be under the title 'Retaliation'. As I've said before, our 'episodes' are literally taken from a feature-length film. So we create a film in the Cops and Robbers trilogy, the first being Robbers Unite, and then we split it up and release a new 'episode' from it once a week. The next film in the trilogy is called Retaliation, so new episodes will be called 'Retaliation'. So we are still creating 'Robbes Unite' episodes, they just won't be called Robbers Unite.

So keep that in mind. Hopefully we'll be releasing episode 2-3 months from now. Stay tuned!

Backlash Comedy Trailer

2008-03-04T00:13:00.004-05:00

Well, we almost made it.

In fact, you might think we did. Chances are that by the time you read this, the Cops and Robbers 2 Comedy Trailer is up by now. How will you tell? Why, if the frontpage image is, y'know, an image, and not just space. If that's the case, follow the download link below.

Download

EDIT: It's working and is about 40 mb.

NOTE: As you might have noticed, Retaliation is no longer called Retaliation, it's called Backlash. So while the trailer may be referring to Cops and Robbers 2 as Retaliation, it's called Backlash. Thanks for your time!

CARS: Grinding the Chain That Sawed You

2008-03-02T20:04:00.004-05:00

'Sup my trainsaws,

Generally, we like to keep our videos in a Halo 2-esque stage, with all the scenes Halo 2ish with varying degrees of Halo 2-ery. But today that changes. For today's Cops and Robbers Short is done in 100% Halo 3. Except for the bits done in a game entirely separate of any Halo qualities.

This short is based on a true story. Johnny goes insane and Randy intervenes. In the face. It's a 70 mb download. Enjoy and destroy!

Download

Robbers Unite Deleted Scenes

2008-03-01T18:53:00.004-05:00

'Sup my special features.

Well gang, had to cancel the loltreys. They were going to be 100% Halo 3 loltreys, but unfortunately Bungie's been having trouble with screenshots recently, and ours couldn't be downloaded from Bungie.net. Therefore, no loltreys. But we've got something you'd probably like better.

The Robbers Unite deleted scenes. These, like the Rocket Chase How-To, are ripped straight from the Robbers Unite DVD, which again, you may not have. But if this continues, you'll have all of the Bonus Content it contained downloaded straight to your hard drive.

So here are five deleted scenes, each about 1-4 minutes long. If you're wondering why they was cut, here are their individual reasons:

Warthog Racing- Drew the scene out too long
Claxton's Original Intro- Too not funny
Cop1 DIES/Cop2 DIES- We want to keep Cop1/Cop2 alive
Mother's Ringtone-Drew the scene out as well

So it's a 70 mb download. Have at it. Ooh, this one's an LQ file too. Sorry.

Download LQ

Goodbye Robbers Unite.

Love,

Chris

Welcome!

2008-02-29T00:05:00.002-05:00

'Sup my Bloggies,

So, as you may see, we've scrapped the old robbersunite.com. Well, not scrapped entirely, but we certainly don't recommend using it. If you go to robbersunite.com/home.html, you can still find the crapbucket that is our old website, but now we've converged with Blogger.com to provide a better-functioning and aesthetically erotic design. However, I still recommend going to robbersunite.com and clicking on the picture link to get here. That way if we ever decide to switch back to our own website the transition will be seamless.

But wait, you don't care all that much, do you? What an ass you are. Well if this one update isn't enough for you, how would three more sound? That's right. You see, two years ago on March 3rd, Not Happy Productions premiered with Operation Covanent Earth, a disgustingly hilarious 20-minute epic featuring Master Chief versus Alien1. So March 3rd is our birthday. Last year to celebrate we released three Robbers Unite clips and bought a hooker cake. This year we're doing something even better: We're not releasing any clips whatsoever. But here's what WILL be going down:

Friday, Feb 29: New robbersunite.com
Saturday, Mar 1: New lolTreys
Sunday, Mar 2: New Cops and Robbers Short
Monday, Mar 3, NHP's anniversary: New CaR 2 Trailer

So that's what you've got to look forward too. Now obviously our Blogger account needs a little work, especially the above banner and some of the labels for posts, but even without a polish it's a billion times better than our previous efforts. So keep checking back throughout this weekend and beyond! It'll be a real sizzler!

Thanks for not eating people,

Chris

Rocket Chase How-To

2008-02-28T23:52:00.001-05:00

From the Robbers Unite DVD. No you can't have one.

See how to re-create the unique Rocket Chase Scene from Robbers Unite Episode 1! Also, see what writer/director Chris Murphy's voice sounds like at 3 in the morning! (Hint: fairly monotone and confused.)

Download

Cops and Robbers 2 Teaser

2008-02-28T23:50:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 29 mb

The cops and robbers 2 teaser trailer. It's coming out sometime in 2008!

Featuring the song "Do You Want To" by Franz Ferdinand, from the album "You Could Do So Much Better"

Download

CARS: Stuck in Place

2008-02-28T23:49:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 90 mb

A Cops and Robbers Short. Johnny loses his wallet. General Claxton totally doesn't find it. Trey is a jerk.

Featuring the song "Everything's Just Wonderful" by Lily Allen.

Download

Robbers Unite Episode 14

2008-02-28T23:48:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 100 mb

This Is Where the Rocket Won't Hit. Stephen and Trey attempt to rescue Science Boy. This episode includes the ending credits.

Download

Robbers Unite Episode 13

2008-02-28T23:47:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 90 mb

New Arrival. Because if they do, they're totally screwed.

Download

Robbers Unite Episode 12

2008-02-28T23:46:00.002-05:00

High Quality - 78 mb

The New Neighbors. The robbers attempt to heal Trey. Using Trey's sniper rifle, they come to the conclusion that Stephen is a nerd and General Claxton is Ishmael. But more importantly, they begin to wonder... Do they now depend on Science Boy?

Download

Robbers Unite Episode 11

2008-02-28T23:45:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 94 mb

That Tall Thing. The robbers teleport back to Coagulation. Wait a second, no they don't.

Download

Robbers Unite Episode 10

2008-02-28T23:44:00.002-05:00

High Quality - 88 mb

Driven Over the Edge. Stephen confronts the big purple thing with a warthog. General Claxton and Trey assist. Afterwards, Claxton gives a speech about the outcome to a group of invisible robbers. Then they teleport back to Coagulation.

Download

Robbers Unite Episode 9

2008-02-28T23:43:00.002-05:00

High Quality - 79 mb

Coughs, Shouts and Beeps. Stephen meets a lady that yells at him. Science Boy tells some big ones. General Claxton, Trey and Johnny discuss things over tea and crumpets. Stephen interrupts.

Download

Robbers Unite Episode 8

2008-02-28T23:42:00.000-05:00

Looks Familiar. Stephen teleports to Guacamala. Meanwhile, Johnny tells Trey a story full of love, betrayal, adventure and copy write infringement about a guy named Bert. Claxton crashes into stuff.

Download

Robbers Unite Episode 7

2008-02-28T23:41:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 58mb

Speaking Slowly, Thinking Slowly. Robbers begin to trickle into wherever the hell they are. Johnny helps Trey out of his boat, and then goes on to show him an old man that dies. Meanwhile, Stephen gets in an argument with a car. He loses and runs away.

Download
HQ Download

CARS: Biting the Hand That Smacked You

2008-02-28T23:40:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 30 mb. Low Quality - 7 mb.
A Cops and Robbers Short. Stephen and Johnny comment and instruct on the new Game Content Usage Rules. Master Chief and a random alien guest star.

Download
LQ Download

CARS: The iPhone is miPhone

2008-02-28T23:39:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 66 mb. Low Quality - 19 mb.
A Cops and Robbers Short. A Cops and Robbers Short. Science Boy gets an iPhone. Chief of Police and General Claxton get jealous. A nerdy robber gets dead.

Download
LQ Download

Robbers Unite Episode 6

2008-02-28T23:37:00.000-05:00

High Quality - 57 mb. Low Quality - 13 mb.

Reading Is For Nerds. The robbers put Stephen's plan into motion. Stephen teleports over to the cave while Claxton and the guys teleport over to the cop base. After taking it over, Claxton remembers that he forgot to remember the compass.

Download
LQ Download

Robbers Unite Episode 5

2008-02-28T23:35:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 57 mb. Low Quality - 9 mb.

The Good Old Days. Stephen and the scientist arrive back at the Robber Rebellion Headquarters. After insulting the scientist and making way for innuendos, the robbers begin to scheme. Gentlemen, the rebellion is on.

Download
LQ Download

Robbers Unite Episode 4

2008-02-28T23:32:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 100 mb. Low Quality - 25 mb.
Large Islands Made of Sand. Stephen finds himself in more trouble than he's worth, on a police headquarters. After infiltrating their ranks, he finds the scientist who was working on the robber's teleporter until he was kidnapped. So Stephen becomes a man.

Featuring the song "Tiny Cities Made of Ashes" by Modest Mouse, on the album "The Moon and Antarctica".

Download
LQ Download

Robbers Unite Episode 3

2008-02-28T23:31:00.000-05:00

High Quality - 132 mb. Low Quality - 22 mb.
Golf Balls and Girly Book Clubs. The Chief of Police talks to the robbers, and Stephen tells some big ones. The Robber Rebellion members then meet in The Secret Meeting House Cave Thing and start a book club. After talking to Trey for a very long time, Stephen gets in trouble againg. What a little rascal.

Featuring the song "Perfect Disguise" by Modest Mouse, on the album "The Moon and Antarctica".

Download
LQ Download

Robbers Unite Episode 2

2008-02-28T23:28:00.001-05:00

High Quality - 102 mb. Low Quality - 26 mb.
Keep Your Suit On. Stephen tries to steal the cop's flag to impress Blake. Things happen as a result of that.

Download
LQ Download

Robbers Unite Episode 1

2008-02-28T23:26:00.002-05:00

High Quality - 175 mb. Low Quality - 31 mb.
This Is Where the Rocket Won't Hit. Stephen is saved from Cop 1 and Cop 2 by Blake, and now Stephen is inflatuated for Blake. Blake's not too cool with it, though... So Stephen naturally goes to the pervert Randy for help, who is hiding behind a rock in the middle of nowhere.

Featuring the song "The Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim on the album "You've Come A Long Way, Baby."

Download
LQ Download

Robbers Unite Introduction

2008-02-28T23:25:00.000-05:00

Try 119 mb. Just try it.
The Robbers Unite intro. The cops watch a training video. Cop 1 and Cop 2 comment and the Chief of Police punishes them. Meanwhile, at the Robbers Base, the robbers watch a training video. Stephen comments and General Claxton punishes him. This episode includes the opening credits.

Download

Robbers Unite Final Trailer

2008-02-28T23:23:00.001-05:00

20 megabytes

This is the Final Trailer for Cops and Robbers: Robbers Unite. More comedy and yet at the same time more action, and even more plot than the last trailer, although not that much.

Download

Robbers Unite Teaser Traier

2008-02-28T23:20:00.004-05:00

Weighing in at about 20 mb.
This is the first trailer for CaR:RU. With no dialogue and only a small taste of plot, it really only serves as a montage. But one thing we pat ourselves on the back for is this: This is all real footage. Unlike Red vs Blue, unlike The Codex, the trailer is made up of 100 percent actual shots from the movie. I'm not claiming we're better than them, ('cause we're not) but we did totally beat them in the trailer departement. w00t.

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